Thank you, Moms

Buttons bursting, I am once again a proud uncle. On April 28, the clan happily welcomed it's newest member, Tobiah Rae, to the fold. She's just adorable, such an impossibly compact bundle of potential. I spent a big chunk of Friday night with her in my arms, and let me say what amazing respect I have for parents in general, and mothers in particular.

Toby is lucky to have devoted parents, a terrific older brother, dedicated grandparents and lots of other adults who are eager to see her discover this life. It's a fitting day -- every day! -- to give thanks to her mom, and my mom, and so many friends (Jessica, Jennifer, Jen, Betsy) who give so much of themselves every day to their children.

Mom and I had a chance to spend part of yesterday afternoon with my nephew, who is now a talkative, witty and playful 2 1/2 year old (where has the time gone?!). Being a brother has been such a crucial part of my identity, central to my development as a person and my notions of family, compassion, fairness and justice. I am elated that Asa will get to have this experience, that he has parents who are so attentive to what Toby's arrival means for him in their family, and that he and Toby will have each other as siblings.

The recent release of Save the Children's 2008 Mother's Day Report Card -- identifying the best and worst places in the world to be a mother -- highlights the gap between our frequently family-focused rhetoric and the completely avoidable challenges our social policies create for motherhood every day. The United States ranks only 27th among the 146 countries surveyed, and whether measured in access to health care, food, adequate housing, safety from domestic violence, child care or even potable water, locally and globally far too many mothers don't have what they need to give their children the kind of start in the world that we all deserve.

I have been reading The Omnivore's Dilemma, an alarming, thought-provoking analysis of modern, industrial food production. I have repeatedly been struck by the genius of this system, one of the primary strategies of which is to disconnect consumers from the direct consequences of production (whether farm bankrupcy, animal suffering, environmental devastation or the seeds of future health crises). Similarly, I suspect a key factor in the gap between pro-family rhetoric and our actual (poor) performance being a parent- and child-friendly global civilization is because so many connections between daily choices and these issues have been severed. People do not see how they have an opportunity to meaningfully improve their neighbor's lot, and so why not just remain focused on my daily distractions / toys / people / relationships?

I fear this sounds shrill and self-righteous, when the message I'm intending is sadder, more troubling, and one that implicates me as much as anyone. I believe -- and learned from my mother -- that most people do wish others well, that they do wish there were apparent ways they could help give every child the opportunities that those of us who live with lots of unearned privileges take for granted. But, lacking evident ways to contribute, the behaviors that those of us with such privileges often practice are ones that first inure us to others' needs, and may, if we're not careful, lead us into dangerous thinking: that we deserve our unearned privileges, while others do not; that we cannot help; that meeting everyone's basic needs and distributing opportunity equitably isn't possible.

I am so grateful that my mother, and the rest of my family, taught me differently. For that, and so much more, thank you, Mom. And thank you, mothers everywhere.