Surgery tomorrow

Today's examination of the Franken-arm (okay, for you purists out there, the Frankenstein's monst-arm) confirmed that -- in addition to a serious application of DeBruisinator^® spray --- surgery will be needed to corral the cloud of bone fragments from the top side of my wrist joint into more appropriate locations, preventing the drifting that's occurred to a surprising degree just since Monday's x-rays. My surgeon, the capable, amiable Dr. Stephen Olmsted, said that on a scale of 1 to 10 for complexity of fractures, this was definitely a 10. Nothing if not a perfectionist, your humble narrator.

The surgery will involve installation of a plate attached to a series of pins, which resembles a dinner fork (but somehow tougher, more butch), sitting face-up, with its tines bent skyward. The tines, staggered in their angles of deflection, are the pins which will provide bracing for the bone shards. The handle of the fork is the plate, which once screwed into my arm bone, will offer strength to the pins and re-align my wrist joint (which, because of the sheering force of the impact, is out of alignment, with the base of my hand several centimeters higher than it should be when laid palm down).

The pins and plate will stay with me for the rest 'o this journey, causing hilarity to ensue at airports 'round the world for years to come. (No, really, it's inside my arm. Seriously!) And since, like brass knuckles, the authorities frown on contenders who are packing, thus ends my illustrious boxing career.

The upsides of the surgery likely include a much faster recovery time (with PT beginning a week or so after surgery), less time immobilized by a cast and my best shot at retaining strength, regaining the joint's natural alignment, and hopefully reducing future arthritis. On the downside, the injury has likely cost me some range of motion, though it's hard to say how much (c'mon, gimme a zero!) until after we spin the wheel and go through the procedure, since it depends a lot on what kind of joint surface the bone chips end up creating. Wish us luck tomorrow.

I also asked Dr. Olmsted if, while he was in there, he could also install some retractable claws, but he just laughed. Apparently they don't have all the bugs worked out of that yet.

I go under the knife at 8:30 tomorrow morning, and should be back home around noon.